If Texas Seceded from the United States…

Mike Cardano, Senior Fantasy Analyst November 18, 2012

Would “America’s Team” become “Jerry’s Kids?”

Have you heard about all the hubbub coming from the state of Texas with regard to seceding from the United States? While there have been at least 20 states where residents have petitioned the White House since the November 6th election, the petition from Texas is particularly noteworthy because it has really gained some steam. As of Wednesday at 9am CT, the petition, which asks for the peaceful withdrawal of the state of Texas from the union, had racked up more than 96,000 signatures; with anything more than 25,000 qualifying for a White House response. The amusing thing here, (ok, maybe it’s not so amusing) is that the logic behind the petition kinda makes sense.

Basically the petition says…… Hey, if we were on our own we’d be the 15th largest economy in the world and we have a balanced budget. It’s the rest of the U.S. that’s causing us to have to deal with the federal fiscal problems and other bullshit. If we were on our own we’d be just fine!

The US continues to suffer economic difficulties stemming from the federal government’s neglect to reform domestic and foreign spending. The citizens of the US suffer from blatant abuses of their rights such as the NDAA, the TSA, etc. Given that the state of Texas maintains a balanced budget and is the 15th largest economy in the world, it is practically feasible for Texas to withdraw from the union, and to do so would protect it’s citizens’ standard of living and re-secure their rights and liberties in accordance with the original ideas and beliefs of our founding fathers which are no longer being reflected by the federal government.

While this all sounds fine and good, I’m not certain that signers of the petition are looking at how the ramifications of secession would affect things. There are the economic considerations such as Texas having then having to be an exporter of goods and services to the rest of the United States. Texas would then have to pay tariffs to export things like oil, tumbleweeds and shit. And what about how the past would be altered? Presidents Dwight D. Eisenhower and Lyndon B. Johnson were both born in Texas, does that mean that they wouldn’t have been born in the United States and should have never been president? Donald Trump, what say you?

And think about how the sporting world landscape would change. Would Mark Cuban still want to own the Dallas Mavericks if he were no longer investing in America? Most Las Vegas sports books have the Houston Texans favored to win the Super Bowl at 5 to 1. If they win, would they be the first international team to win a Super Bowl? The Houston Astros moving to the American League in 2013 would be an oxymoron. Would they move back? Surely the Dallas Cowboys could no longer be “America’s Team.” Who would they be known as, “Jerry’s Kids?”

Listen, I don’t live in Texas so ya’ll can do whatcha gotta do. Just think twice about it because we have a tendency to always want what we don’t have and sometimes we need to be careful what we wish for…

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