Sure, it's time to celebrate the birth of our country. But some folks aren't able to enjoy it quite as much. One of those guys is Chris Snyder. And after you read the first few paragraphs of this column, another one of those folks might just be you. But grin and bear it - it gets better! Trust us! Plus, an update on some guys you should avoid in your football drafts, and someone else who is building confidence as a first round pick. Left testicular fracture. LEFT TESTICULAR FRACTURE. Sorry about that, but I thought we needed to get it out of the way. There's no way to talk about Arizona Diamondbacks catcher Chris Snyder's injury without causing all the males reading this to squirm violently in their seats. You have to just jump into the deep end and hope those swimming lessons paid off. This -- wait for it -- left testicular fracture was caused by a foul tip, and frankly, I'd never considered whether a testicle could actually break (I'm going to change subjects soon, just bear with me). Somehow, the dude doesn't even need surgery. But he does need some type of award, formerly owned by Astros 2B Kaz Matsui for his anal fissure, for the Most Awkward Injury Of The Year. It's all yours, Chris. And one expects you're now on Kaz Matsui's Christmas card list. Since the theme of this article is "what I've been thinking about lately," there's a reason the first part of this column was dedicated to that injury, because once you hear about it, it's hard to shake it out of your head. But we shall press on. OK, no we won't, just yet. Because I have to throw this out there -- if you had to get one of those injuries, but you had your choice, which would you take? Cause I'm locked in on the anal fissure, even if I don't exactly know what that is. But I do know what the other injury is (see how I didn't say it again?), and it sounds so unbearably painful that I can't do it. And I'm just saying this ... I never, EVER, thought there could be a scenario where I'd stick my hand up and say, "I'll take the anal fissure, please." This is what I'm saying. OK. Big deep breath. Moving on...  | | Matt Cain has 33 of those Ks in the last 4 games. Photo Credit: StormXor |
Did you know that the San Francisco Giants have three starters who've logged over 100 strikeouts already this season? You can probably guess that Matt Cain and Tim Lincecum are two of them, but I'm reasonably sure nobody had Jonathan Sanchez in their pre-season predictions for being a strikeout leader. Sanchez has 102 strikeouts -- Johann Santana has 103 (And hey, their names are sort of similar, too!)...and Sanchez is not just throwing strikes, he's been getting guys out all season. With eight wins, an ERA of 3.79, and a decent if unspectacular 1.36 WHIP, he's one of the best surprises of the season, both for the Giants and for lots of fantasy owners. Did you know that the former pitching coach for the Expos Dominican summer league currently has four wins and 15 saves in the majors? Yep, that's Salomon Torres, one of three members of the Brewers who retired at one point in their career (the others are Gabe Kapler and Joe Dillon). I'm not sure what this means, specifically, but I thought it was worth sharing. Shifting sports for a moment, my Warriors suffered a huge and crushing free agent loss, when PG Baron Davis signaled that he'll be signing with the Clippers. The Warriors made offers to both Davis and to former Warrior Gilbert Arenas, but neither will amount to anything. Now, they are going after the Clippers own stud, Elton Brand. It would be a nice fit if Monta Ellis can slide successfully over to point. But more and more, that run through the playoffs two seasons ago seems like a fading memory. Back to the diamond -- as I was writing this, news broke that Cleveland closer Joe Borowski is not only out of the closer role, but out of a job completely and designated for assignment. I've owned Joe-Bo before, and he's always a real wild card. He's one of the main reasons it's hard to shell out a high pick or lots of cash on Draft Day for any closer (another example: Rafael Soriano. But, I digress). The names being thrown about for a replacement are Rafael Betancourt, Rafael Perez, and someone NOT named Rafael, Masa Kobayashi. Kobayashi is not, it turns out, just a character from The Usual Suspects. He's also a good candidate to get a lions share of the saves (He has four already). At 34, he's hardly a long-term bet at the position, but fantasy sports are all about riding hot streaks, so get on board. I've spent some time in this column railing against Diamondbacks OF Eric Byrnes this season, and he's let me down again, going back on the DL with more hamstring problems. This time, they might actually opt for surgery, which makes him all but useless for the season. I'm still carrying him on my squad, mainly because my league has a gigantic bench. But if I had to pull the ripcord, I'd do it. 90% of his value is speed, and he's a good money bet to end the season with his current whopping total of four stolen bases. The operative word here? YECCCH. As we're starting our Draft Kit for the NFL Season, I've begun the extremely fun activity of preparing for fantasy football. Everyone has their favorite sport -- football is mine, both on the gridiron and in fantasy terms. Here are some names I haven't written about in the draft kit that I'm not touching with a ten-foot pole, unless they slip five or six rounds past their average draft position: Larry Johnson, KC. See: Shaun Alexander, 2007. Sure, LJ is much younger than Alexander, but there are many other parallels - tons of carries, lots of excuses for why their prior season wasn't so great, and no real reason to expect a turnaround in the current year. I'm letting someone else take him. And I'm doing the same with Rudi Johnson, CIN. This Bengal back was the model of consistency from 2004-2006, but last year he suddenly looked old and brittle. He could easily snap back for a rebound season, but there are several guys behind him. I suspect that coach Marvin Lewis will have a shorter leash this season. Again, both of these guys could provide big upside to their owners, but my spidey sense tells me to stay away this year. On the other hand, I'm getting a bit more optimistic about my hometown running back, Frank Gore. I argued in an online chat the other day that he wouldn't be worth the 5th or 6th overall pick, and I'll stand by that. But as a first round running back, I think he'll be worth it. The coaches are trying to get him 20 carries and five receptions a game. With Mike Martz's system, if they hold to those numbers, Gore has all the talent there to rack up some huge statistics. I'm not buying into the 49ers as offensive sleepers (in fact, I think their team D/ST is as much of a sleeper as anyone on the other side of the ball). However, Gore not only has the talent, but he also has a huge personal drive for success. I don't put too much stock in that, generally, but what I'm saying here is that you (or I) should feel just fine about plucking Gore in the second half of the first round as your RB1. It's Independence Day weekend, so I'm going to wrap this up a bit early. Regardless of when you are reading this, one piece of sanctimonious but relevant advice -- Don't Drink And Drive. Not just because, like Cedric Benson, you could lose your job over it. But because you put your life and everyone else's on the road at risk. Happy Birthday, USA! Matthew Greber has been watching fireworks from his backyard all week, and is happy to live across the street from a fire station. He's spending time eating watermelon and BBQ, and downing an occasional cerveza. He's also changing diapers, burping, and cleaning up after his almost seven week old daughter. Distract him momentarily at
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