In this age of parity, any team can have a losing season and come back and win the Super Bowl the following year. So why should I restrict myself to making bold predictions for just one team? Here are bold predictions for all 32 teams.

ARZ: Kurt Warner gets concussed and is forced to retire.

ATL: Michael Turner goes way too high in your draft and does not even get 225 carries in 2008.

BAL: Demetrius Williams has eight TDs.

BUF: James Hardy and Lee Evans combine for over 2,000 yards and Trent Edwards becomes a Top 20 QB by week 12.

CAR: Travis Taylor drops a comeback-in-the-making pass right between his arms. (So maybe this isn’t so bold, but Taylor will probably impress the coaches enough with his speed and route running and they’ll realize their mistake too late.)

Kyle Orton is no stranger to the late-night scene. Let's hope he gets his fill in the off-season and is fully committed.

CHI: Kyle Orton is named the starter and has 25 TDs. Of course this is about four years too late for my keeper league.

CIN: Kenny Watson has over 1,000 yards and 15 TDs.

CLE: Braylon Edwards is not just good, but the BEST fantasy receiver in 2008.

DAL: Felix Jones has more fantasy points than Arkansas backfield mate Darren McFadden.

DEN: Barring injury, Denver actually has the same RB getting more than 75% of the carries in at least 14 games. No good reason for this prediction other than they have to be bold, right?

DET: Roy Williams has at least 11 TDs and 1200 yards. 

GB: I want to make a prediction about Aaron Rodgers, but he’s being touted in the fantasy industry as both a bust and a sleeper. I’ll say neither and just say has more TDs than INTs.

HOU: Steve Slaton is suddenly the back du jour in Houston. Hey, it could happen!

INDY: Jim Sorgi throws 30 TDs. Just kidding, I was seeing if you were still paying attention.

JAC: The Jaguars win the Super Bowl.

KC: Devard Darling--1,000 yard receiver.

MIA: Cheerleader Lilly returns to the pages of Maxim in 2008. Okay, so this already happened. Click here and tell me you really mind me making the non-prediction.

MIN: Tarvaris Jackson is named to the Pro Bowl. Wait, did I really just write that?

NE: Laurence Maroney scores 20 TDs.

NO: Deuce McAllister plays 16 games. It hasn’t happened in four years, but I’m always looking for feel-good stories about New Orleans, aren’t you?

NYG: Kevin Boss has more TDs than Jeremy Shockey.

NYJ: Kellen Clemens makes you wish you drafted him.

OAK: Darren McFadden gets outpointed by Felix Jones (I have to stay consistent, right?)

PHI: Donovan McNabb starts 15 games only to get injured in week 16 as the Kevin Kolb era is ushered in for Philly.  Eagle fans are unsure whether to celebrate or commit suicide.

PIT: Willie Parker does not lose his job and scores 15 TDs. The fact that Parker is on my keeper team of course is purely coincidental.

SD: THIS is the year that LaDainian Tomlinson gets injured. I never get the first pick so might as well keep saying it until it is true, right?

SF: Bryant Johnson becomes the most valuable bye-week fill-in. Not sure? Go check out this brilliantly written article.

SEA: Elizabeth Hasselbeck realizes she married the less accomplished brother and tries to seduce Matt Hasselbeck only to learn he’s already slept with Barbara Walters. Or Marcus Trufant has a career best 8 TDs. Either one of these two.

STL: Josh Brown is the best kicker this year. That’s right, I made a kicker prediction. You got a problem with that?

TB: Michael Spurlock returns not one, but two kicks for a TD.

TEN: Jeff Fisher is the first coach fired, even if unfairly so.

WAS: Chris Cooley is the 2nd best fantasy TE behind Antonio Gates.

Maybe it was all those times writing sentences in detention, but Mark Strausberg can’t stand chalk. Let him know if he should still be staying after school for some of his wild picks at This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it .

Comments (0)

Subscribe to this comment's feed