Chad Johnson may not be the best athlete in the world, but he just might be the most entertaining. His claim that he can beat Michael Phelps in the pool is obviously made in good fun, but it does make one imagine a world of possibilities in the reality show circuit. Imagine following "Ocho Cinco" around the world, as he challenges the world's best at their own games. Can Chad's floor routine match up to that of Shawn Johnson? Does Tiger dare return to the links? After all, Johnson has already won a horse race and challenged basketball's best.

Even more interesting is Johnson's plan to legally change his name to Ocho Cinco. Besides the boost in jersey sales, imagine the trend this could start in professional sports. Will we ever hear the name David Ortiz again? Players choosing their own names would be entertaining, but what if we, the fans, could bestow the honors. Would Josh Hamilton become Chico Maravilla? I can see Alex Rodriguez answering to Mucho Dinero. Would Milwaukee be happy with Grasa Bateador manning first base? Personally I'm still holding out hope that my injury-stricken Rays consider adding Químicamente Mejorado to upgrade their offense. On the mound, the Phillies are hoping that Brett Myers does not assume the identity of Bombas Grande.

In case you aren't one of our Spanish-speaking readers, I'll give you the translations a little bit later. Right now, it's time to quit the silliness and start looking for a few useful parts on the waiver wire. The trading deadline is at hand in many fantasy leagues, and a few smart waiver claims might be the only way to get you over the hump and into a YooHoo shower.

[all statistics current through Friday, August 15].

NOW THAT SPELLS RELIEF
A look at the top prospects to deliver value as closers, setup men, and long relievers at this point of the season.

Jensen Lewis, RP, CLE
The Indians are a fantasy owner's worst nightmare. Their closer situation has been a mess for years. They simply refuse to put their best relievers in the role of closer. As discussed last week, Rafael Perez is without a doubt their best reliever, which is obviously why Lewis saved two games last week. Lewis has had mixed results in the major leagues, but he does have a solid track record in the minors. Despite the lack of Ks this year, he did strike out more than a batter an inning last year in Cleveland and also during his minor league career. If a handful of saves can help you, I recommend Lewis in all leagues. I don't see him as a long-term answer, but we are talking about a team that relied on Joe Borowski for a season and a half, despite Joe carrying an ERA over 5.00.

Not only will Kuo help keep your ratios down but for the rest of the year could steal a few saves. Photo Credit: Icon SMI

Hong-Chih Kuo, RP, LAD
Kuo has quietly posted dominant numbers for the Dodgers this year. A 0.93 WHIP in 70 innings can lessen the blow of a mediocre starter, and his 82 Ks are more than those of 14-game winners Joe Saunders and Aaron Cook. Many will see Kuo's skills as a benefit only to NL leagues. I'm here to tell you that a middle reliever with numbers like Kuo helps a fantasy team a lot more than a lower level starter who gets 10-plus wins through sheer opportunity. "Innings eaters" may help major league teams, but they are death to a fantasy league staff. If you've got a questionable starter, stop the damage and plug in Kuo.

CALL TO ARMS
Get your starting pitchers here! … Maybe… Targeting starting pitchers on the waiver wire is a dangerous practice, but here are a few who might have something to offer.

Brett Myers, SP, PHI
Many have tossed Myers and his homerific ways into the fantasy trash. Whether it was a kick in the pants or a chance to relax, something clicked during his time with Bob Evans (You know, down on the farm). Since returning, he's produced a 2.20 ERA and has been competitive in every start. His strikeout rate is still lacking, but the last two starts have been more like the Myers of 2006. I haven't heard whispers of an injury, so there is no reason to think that Myers can't be at least a second-tier pitcher. Myers is the rare pitcher who is probably available in many mixed leagues and could pitch like a fantasy ace. If he's there, grab him.

Yusmeiro Petit, SP, ARI
Like everyone else, I love a starting pitcher who can throw a ball through a brick wall. It still makes me mad, though, when major league managers and GMs ignore consistent success in the minor leagues, just because a pitcher doesn't hit 95 MPH on the gun. In the last few years, Petit has been without a consistent role, while being jerked around between the minors and the bigs. Before that he consistently posted WHIPs below 1.00 to go along with excellent K/9 rates. With the injury and possible/probable trade of Micah Owings, Petit finally has a chance to assert himself. So far, so good. In almost 35 IP, he has an outstanding 0.89 WHIP to go along with a nifty 3.12 ERA. Bank "du Jour" Park is a tough place to pitch, but if Petit can continue his solid work, he can be a number five-type starter in NL-only leagues.

John Lannan, SP, WAS
Pitching for the Nationals can be a daunting task. Lannan has quietly put together a nice rookie season with an ERA of 3.40 (although with a record of 6-11, because of the Nats pathetic offense). Lannan's ERA will likely increase if he keeps struggling to limit baserunners, but he has shown himself to be a safe option in NL-only leagues. Those in keeper leagues should take special notice, because Lannan has shown flashes of being more than a third or fourth starter. Lefthanders who experience solid success at age 24 often turn into something special later on.

SWINGING FOR THE FENCES
Lacking home runs?  Stuck with a dearth of stolen bases?  Here are some ideas to better shore up your offense.

Chris Dickerson, OF, CIN
Somewhere Jim Bowden is crying. All the work he did to hoard toolsy outfielders in Cincy has been undone. Gone are Adam Dunn, Austin Kearns, Ken Griffey, Josh Hamilton, and Wily Mo Pena. Jay Bruce has plenty of tools to go around, but otherwise the cupboard is bare. Dickerson brings a few tools to work with him. His speed and mid-level power should play well in Great American Ballpark, and so far Dickerson has hit the ground running. He may struggle to hit for much of an average, but the 30-plus SB potential makes Dickerson an interesting prospect in NL-only leagues. The Reds don't have any prospects knocking on the door at the moment, so the 26-year-old outfielder will get every chance to establish himself. I don't see him as a long-term star, but a few years of Mike Cameron-type stats can definitely help a fantasy team. Mixed league owners in need of speed and all NL-only league owners should be all over Dickerson.

Travis Ishikawa, 1B, SF
Travis Ishikawa was called up earlier this week, officially ending the John Bowker era (is three months an era?). Ishikawa, a lefty swinger in the Casey Kotchman mold, will get the next shot to establish himself at 1B in San Francisco. The 25-year-old has boosted the power numbers a little this year, with 22 HR in just under 400 ABs. I'm not so sure the power will translate well at Candlest.. I mean SBC...no, that's not it...it's Pac Bell, no... AT&T park. Ishikawa should hit for a .280-plus average and do a decent job for the Giants. The benefits to his fantasy owners won't be as great, but he could help fill a hole in many NL-only leagues. Somebody has to drive in runs, right?

Jim Edmonds, OF, CHC
Just as San Diego left Edmonds for dead, so have many fantasy owners. Two things have turned Edmonds' season around. First, he's been able to stay relatively healthy, after battling calf problems earlier in the year. Second, he stopped taking medication for repeated concussions. Since joining the Cubs, Edmonds has hit a decent .270 with 15 HR in 185 AB. Extrapolate (I always get hurt when I do that) that out to 500 ABs, and you're talking about a rebirth. Edmonds is not the player he once was, but he is posting numbers that should have him rostered in any type of league.

Eric Hinske, OF/1B, TB
When the Rays dealt the talented Delmon Young this offseason, many fans wondered how the team would replace his offense. The name Eric Hinske was not exactly the first one that came to mind, but that is precisely what he's done. How poetic is it, then, that Hinske and Young both have exactly 52 RBIs? I wonder who went for more in AL auctions this March? Hmmm. Hinske's .250 BA isn't going to help anyone, but he can match power numbers with many more high-profile hitters. With Evan Longoria and Carl Crawford on the DL, Hinske should see regular playing time from here on out. Mixed leaguers in need of pitching could deal a power hitter to fill their pitching needs, and then plug in Hinske without losing too much. These are the types of moves that can put your team over the top.

Here are the player name translations I promised:
Chico Maravilla = Wonder Kid
Mucho Dinero = Big Money
Grasa Bateador = Fat Hitter
Químicamente Mejorado = Barry Bonds or Chemically Enhanced

If you'd like to suggest some alternative player names or maybe another opponent for Chad Johnson, please send an email to This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it

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