The best laid plans of mice and men go awry. Even Fat Albert and the gang could tell you things don’t always work out like you plan. Maybe they were in a keeper league too… Tell me if this has ever happened to you. You’re sitting at your draft/auction and your projections are screaming at you that you should take a particular player. But one nagging fact, like oh say, I don’t know, a disclosed tear in the player’s arm, prevents you from pulling the trigger and allows that player to end up on a competitor’s team. Now, at least 25 HRs and a .348 average later, you really wish you had taken Albert Pujols.
Uh-huh, I didn’t think it was just me! Speaking of Phat Albert, you know what I’ve had in my head all day today? I'm gonna sing a song for you
And this is gonna show you a thing or two
You'll have some fun now.
With me and the gang
Learning from each other
While we do our thang
na, na, na Gonna have a good time
na, na, na Gonna have a good time hey, hey, hey! And if you watched the show, you know that Bill Cosby would then pop on the screen and tell you, “If you're not careful, you may learn something before it's done!”Like what, Bill? How many different ways to tell a guy he has no class? Maybe what Mushmouth was really saying? I know one thing we should have learned: the possible diseases you can get from playing instruments you find in the junkyard. Wow, sorry to go off on a tangent like that, and I did really enjoy the show as a kid. You’ll have to excuse me. Between lack of sleep, moving offices at work, and preparing for the upcoming football season, I’m getting a little loopy. So, before I get too sucked into football, I’m going to recap the season so far in my primary keeper league. You’ll see the kind of decisions I had to make, and if you’re not careful, you might learn something before I’m done! March 22: My draft is over, and I’m feeling pretty good about my team (Hey, why is that warning light flashing?). Should have gone for Pujols, but I got some big studs who were not kept, like Matt Holliday and Jimmy Rollins. Add that to some of the guys I kept, like Travis Hafner (and we all know how valuable he has been), Chris Young, Brian McCann, and James Shields, and I think I’ve got a competitive team. An owner in my league always goes for Japanese players, so I tried to bait him by throwing out Kosuke Fukudome. But that owner just smiled at me as I heard crickets on my initial bid for Fukudome. That was my biggest draft day mistake, but there are worse things that could have happened. I now have to decide whom to designate as a “franchise player.” In my league, you are allowed to lock up to three players for a three-year deal. I already have Jonathan Broxton and Jhonny Peralta locked up from previous years, so I have to decide who my third should be. I’m considering my final pick of Jonathan Sanchez but go with Chase Headley, even though he will be starting the year in the minors. WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE LEARNED: Just because one has shown talent, doesn’t mean that the MLB team is going to start said talent in the majors. Also remember that no matter how deep your keeper league, you can often get quality starting pitching late and cheap. And don’t get cute at an auction—if you don’t want a guy at the initial bid, don’t suggest the bid.  | | Nate McLouth has vaulted over the 20-homer mark already. Photo Credit: Icon SMI |
March 27: No FAAB in this league, and we start the year with an “add/drop” supplemental draft. I know I could probably use a little help with average and stolen bases, so I take Nate McLouth with my first pick. A .300 average and 15 stolen bases is all I’m asking for. With Headley in the minors, I’m a little light at the corners, and I take a flier on Jorge Cantu. I hate dropping Wladimir Balentien for Cantu, but I can only burn so many roster spots with minor leaguers to start the season. WISDOM FROM BILL: Never underestimate someone, because sometimes they might surprise you! April 2: The start of an active week for me as I claim Jeff Keppinger off waivers. Tomorrow I will grab Edwin Jackson (I like TB this year more than others, and maybe Jackson can finally put it all together), Blake Dewitt (again, I need some help at the corner, and he’s a healthy body), and Todd Wellemeyer. A LESSON: Ride the hot hand while you can. April 17: Carlos Quentin, whom I drafted last year, has taken a hold of the White Sox OF position and is off to a hot start. Of course I had dropped him, committing my usual “Too Much Too Soon” mistake. But I’m OK. I’m riding high as Justin Upton has hit 5 HRs already! I’m rocking the house, and my team sits happily in first place. A TRUISM: One door opens, another closes….. April 23: I find myself with an abundance of quality starters and not a single closer. I trade the strong-starting Randy Wolf for George Sherrill, who has 9 saves already. If he gives me just 21 the rest of the year, I’ll be satisfied. SOMETHING TO REMEMBER: Sure, I sold high. But I also bought high. May 2: With two daughters in my house already, my third daughter, Sarah, is born. I’m completely uninformed about anything that happens in baseball during the weekend. And my buddy, whom I asked to manage my team the week my daughter is born, does nothing. I’m actually OK with it. WORDS TO LIVE BY: Believe it or not, some things are more important than fantasy baseball. May 29: Ian Snell started off so nicely, but I can’t take it anymore. It hurts to do it, but Snell gets cut. Of course I wince when he is promptly claimed off waivers. DID YOU KNOW?: Snell means quickly in German. (Okay, actually its Schnell, but my team can’t improve quickly enough.) June 11: Light day at work, and I hear about the injury to J.J. Putz. I quickly scramble and pick up Brandon Morrow and learn later I beat one of my fellow owners by one minute. Hopefully Sherrill will no longer be the only one getting saves! TAKEAWAY: Why you don’t pay for saves…. June 16: The Dan Wheeler experiment is not working out. And now I need starters again and can’t resist picking up Jorge Campillo. Of course that is not enough, and I roll the dice by trading away Fukudome and getting back Roy Oswalt. Now feeling good about my starters, I will jettison Edwin Jackson later this week and pick up Elijah Dukes (this will be key, so stay tuned). AND REMEMBER KIDS…OK, sometimes you can buy low and sell high. All-Star break: Feeling pretty good. Not in first, but I’m in the money. I try to find some teams who might be interested in dumping but find no takers. KEEP IT IN MIND: Not everyone sees things the way you do. Just because you think someone should start playing for next year, they may not. July 25: I pick up Denard Span and Josh Fields (Joe Crede is now hurt). Span becomes a fixture in my lineup, and Fields helps me make a big move on… July 26: I trade Crede, Fields, Upton, and Oswalt for Johan Santana to one of the perennial bottom feeders. I feel it’s a lot to give up, but much of the league sentiment is that I pulled a major coup. BILL MIGHT SAY: ‘Cause sometimes one really is more than four. August 15: Having tried unsuccessfully to get Jake Peavy, I only shrug because the offer of a franchised David Price and a Victor Martinez is more than I would have offered anyway. But I gnash my teeth as the Peavy owner also trades away Ricky Nolasco and gets very little from another one of my competitors. Absolutely flabbergasted that anyone would rather have Francisco Cordero and Ubaldo Jimenez than my offer of Hafner and Sherrill, I shoot an email to the owner asking why. He acknowledges my offer was better but admits he never saw it because he only speed-read my email. ONE TO GROW ON: And this is why it is best to communicate verbally instead of on-line. August 17: I find out Jonathan Sanchez is hitting the DL. That’s the third player on my roster to get injured in the last ten days. Coupled with the recent poor play of my team, things look bleak as I drop into a tie for third place. WIT AND WISDOM: Shit happens. TODAY: Okay, so where does that leave me now? I’m still gunning for it. At worst, I finish out of the money and have some huge upside keepers like Morrow as well as Campillo. At best, my team turns it around and manages to finish the season strong, catapulting me into first place. Most likely scenario: I finish in the money but just miss the big prize again. [Editor's Note: Prior to this article posting, Mark notified us in an expletive laden phone call that his team has now fallen to sixth place.] ONE LAST THING TO KNOW: Best laid plans of Mice and Men…. NEXT WEEK: Every time I get out, they keep pulling me back in! Mark Strausberg always wanted to see Rudi and Russell exchange punches--it might have been the first fight where no one got hurt. If you want Mark to “keep” his thoughts to himself, email him at
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