As the talent pool dwindles, The Pickup Artist goes on the hunt for those diamonds in the rough. What do Mewelde Moore, Kyle Orton, and Dominic Rhodes have in common? They all finished in the Top 10 in scoring this week, and were recommended as solid pickups by The Pickup Artist this season. No, the Artist isn't patting himself on the back here (okay, maybe just a little). It's just that with half the regular season in the books, it's a good time to point out how important waiver wire transactions are to your long-term success. After all, if you're a Willie Parker owner and you picked up Moore, how much better do you feel about your chances going forward? There are plenty of owners at 7-0 or 6-1, who are relishing in complacency over how stacked they think their lineups are. My advice? Don't be one of them. Remember, your team is never as good as it can be, and is only a practice field divot away from turning into a disaster. Whether it's the acquisition of a handcuff or an available player whose playoff schedule looks tasty, building your squad's depth should always be a work in progress; not a strategy suited only for those in danger of missing the postseason. QB "I'm happy to be your rebound guy" (courtesy of Mark S. from Maryland)
Marc Bulger (STL)
Sounds like a plan! Let me warn you though – Marshall Faulk isn't walking through that door. Isaac Bruce (SF) isn't walking through that door. Mike Martz isn't walking through that door. And if you expect them to walk through that door, your going to get really gray and old this season. Now, if you're looking for a backup quarterback with experience, who can get the job done against softer defenses, I can be that guy. Forget about what I've done so far. Remember, we've played games on the road against Philly and Washington, and have had tough matchups at home versus the New York Giants, Buffalo, and Dallas (okay, maybe that one wasn't so tough). The schedule is looking much better though, especially in Weeks 14-16 (ARI, SEA, SF). Steven Jackson can help keep defenses honest, I've got one hell of a playmaker in rookie Donnie Avery, and Torry Holt has to step up his production. If you're looking at Joe Flacco (BAL), JaMarcus Russell (OAK), and Kerry Collins (TEN) as your backups, I can be the ideal replacement. RB  | With Reggie Bush out, the Deuce is loose! Photo Credit: Icon SMI |
"Can I borrow a quarter? I want to call your mother and thank her."
Deuce McAllister (NO)
No problem. In fact, I'll give you two. You might also want to give the Bush household a ring. Wait, don't you have a cell phone? Gimme that quarter back! Let's get down to brass tacks. Reggie Bush had surgery Monday for a torn meniscus and is expected to miss two to four weeks. He could be out longer if the team doesn’t want to risk a setback. That leaves me as the starting running back for the New Orleans Saints, and that's a very good place to be when you’re talking about the most prolific offense, in terms of total yardage. Historically, my health hasn't been the greatest, but as long as I'm out there, I can produce. It's perfect timing too. We've got Atlanta, Kansas City, and Green Bay on tap in Weeks 10-12. If your league charges per transaction, consider those quarters a down payment on the acquisition. "Do you come here often?"
Jamaal Charles (KC)
No, I don't. But that’s a good thing. It means I’m really under the radar. Yeah, yeah, I know. Kolby Smith started at running back on Sunday. How did that work out? I'm the Chief running back who's actually done something with the limited playing time I've gotten this season (24 carries, 115 rushing yards, 16 receptions, 94 receiving yards). Larry Johnson's already been suspended for missing a team practice, and there are whispers that a suspension from the NFL could be looming after yet another alleged scuffle with a woman took place during our bye week (that makes four altercations with the opposite sex). Here's the kicker. We play New Orleans, Buffalo, Oakland, and Denver in Weeks 11-14. If I can wrestle away the starting job from Smith by then, and LJ is no longer with the team (that's a very real possibility), you can ride me right into the playoffs.
"You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy."
Ahman Green (HOU)
I know. You probably drafted me, watched me get hurt (yet again), and then forgot about me when Steve Slaton took the starting running back job and, well, ran with it. Now, you're looking at my 15 touches, 65 total yards, and a touchdown versus Detroit, and wondering if you should pick me back up again. All I can say is that I'm still a vital part of the Houston offense, and I've looked pretty good when I've been on the field this year. As far as my health is concerned, I'm realistic. I'm 31 years old and won't make any promises. On the plus side, I've got matchups left against Cincinnati, Indianapolis, Cleveland, Green Bay and Oakland. If you're in dire straits and I'm available, allow me to flex my skills for you. WR "Hey, I play the field and it looks like I just hit a home run with you."
Vincent Jackson (SD)
Funny, Phillip Rivers has been saying the same thing. I know Malcom Floyd has been the hot pickup of late, but once Chris Chambers returns, he's back to the three-spot. As for me, the flashes of brilliance I showed in the postseason last year (18 receptions, 300 receiving yards, and two touchdowns in three playoff games), are now on full display. And thanks to the development of Rivers, I'm on pace for 59 receptions, 1,093 receiving yards, and seven touchdowns in 2008. With numbers like that, there's no way I should still be out there for the taking. Believe it or not, I am available (in 17 percent of Yahoo! leagues). If you're able to acquire me in yours, that's not just a home run. That's a steal. "Are your legs tired? 'Cause you've been running around my mind all day long."
Josh Morgan (SF)
I'm a 23-year-old rookie, do I look tired to you? By the way, I just want to send an apology to Bryant Johnson – sorry for stealing your job homie. Now, where were we? Oh, I think you like me. Five catches, 86 yards, and a touchdown will do that to a man. I heard you raving about Mike Martz a few weeks ago. Well, I'm just another in a long line of his fantasy-friendly wideouts, ready to make some noise. Martz even compared me to a young Torry Holt (although I think he's compared all of his current players to former ones at one time or another). I've got another juicy matchup versus the Seahawks in Week Eight, a bye in Week Nine, and then Arizona, St. Louis, Dallas, Buffalo, NYJ, Miami, and St. Louis. You like me even more now, don't you? "Are you religious? Because you're the answer to my prayers."
Mike Furrey (DET)
Hey, Jon Kitna's done for the season, okay? Let's keep religion out of this. However, I do have to credit Kitna for my breakout year in 2006, when I caught 98 balls for 1,086 yards and six touchdowns. Or should I credit Martz? Never mind, he's getting too much pub for one column. Anyway, what I did in 2006 gives you a glimpse into my potential. Surely, you shouldn't expect to see numbers like that again, but with Roy Williams (WR, DAL) out of town, opposing defenses are now giving Calvin Johnson all of their attention. That leaves me free to operate over the middle and underneath, with relative ease. Our new quarterback, Dan Orlovsky, isn't great, but he's capable – at least capable of finding me when he can't find anyone else (six receptions, 89 yards in my first start with Orlovsky under center). I'm more of a PPR type, but if you're in a deep league looking for receiver help, I could be your bye-week savior. "Falling for you would be a very short trip."
Javon Walker (OAK)
Our relationship might be a short one too, but let's not get ahead of ourselves. It's been a couple of years since I was last a fantasy option, and I even considered retirement during the preseason. But I'm back now, and I'm focused. More importantly, JaMarcus Russell is now focused on me too (five receptions, 75 yards and a score this past Sunday). If we can establish trust and timing with each other, and Russell's development can progress as the season goes on, I just might be a viable WR3 when it matters most. Again, don't put too much stock in me at the moment. Just try me out if you're looking for someone to fill a void. If it means anything to you, I've still got games against Denver, Atlanta, Kansas City, New England, and Houston.
TE "You don't need car keys to drive me crazy."
Jeremy Shockey (NO)
Crazy over my potential in New Orleans, huh? Hey, if Billy Miller can put up numbers in my absence, just imagine the possibilities. Drew Brees is awesome, need I say more? And I'm available in more leagues than I should be right now (available in 28 percent of Yahoo! leagues). Meet me at the free agent list ASAP and see if I’m available. "If you were a wedgie, I'd pick you!"
Donald Lee (GB)
Gee, thanks. Are you trying to say I stink? Or that you're just stuck in between choices right now? Well, I have scored a touchdown in each of my last two games, so it's apparent I'm a guy Aaron Rodgers looks for when we're in the red zone. Let's be honest, the tight end position has been a coin flip each week. Why not go with the guy who plays in one of the better offenses in football? If you want to target me for a game or two, I've got Minnesota in Week 10 (5.4 receptions, 54 receiving yards per week allowed to TEs), and Carolina in Week 12 (4.9 receptions, 50 receiving yards per game allowed to TEs). The Pickup Artist was shocked to find out that Vincent Jackson and Jeremy Shockey were available in almost 20 and 30 percent (respectively) of Yahoo! leagues. If you're one of the lucky few who were able to nab them based on his advice, send him an email at Bourdepa@RotoExperts.com and he'll publish your success story in next week's column.
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