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You Should Be Playing in a Two Quarterback League

RotoExperts Staff August 23, 2017 4:16PM EDT
If Bull Durham were a football movie, Crash Davis’s speech that inspired an “Oh my” from Annie Savoy might have gone something like this:

“I believe that Fantasy football is a game in which two quarterbacks start every week. I believe all passing touchdowns should be worth six points and those longer than 50 and 75 yards should be 8 and 10 points, respectively. I believe that Games of Thrones is severely overrated and The Americans is unjustly underrated. I believe in the Church of Rich Eisen and the Lone Wolf. I believe that all Fantasy leagues should find as many ways to award bonus points and if a WR runs back a punt or kickoff it should be scored as six points for the player and the Defense/Special Teams, but I believe special teams should not be lumped in with defenses to start with. I believe the owner who drafts a defense in the tenth round should be punished severely up to and including an electric shock, and don’t ask me about kickers prior to the last round. I believe bourbon over 100 proof should be served neat, two fingers, and sipped – but never more than one glass consumed – get drunk on the weaker stuff, savor the good stuff. I believe Pat Mayo’s beliefs are my own when it comes to pop culture that I don’t understand, unless he thinks Game of Thrones is better than The Americans. I believe four points for a touchdown in Fantasy is the equivalent of a participation trophy; cough up the extra deuce and let’s play ball here. I believe David Simon is the greatest living American writer. And I believe in deep scoring, long passes, and Monday night games that stretch into Tuesday morning to determine who wins your Fantasy matchup in a 205-203 showdown.”

Oh my.

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